去年大约四月份(?),病毒开始肆虐摩洛哥。摩洛哥在非洲不算很差,但毕竟属于穷国,卫生条件等跟不上,阿西莉只得飞回老家。回到老家后不知啥原因,新冠病毒还是没有放过她,据说五月份中招了。她很不幸,是我认识的人中唯一一个明确中招的。阿西莉虽然年轻,但兴许体质不怎么样,她中招后,还进过医院,虽然没有大碍,但病情几经反复,心态也几经反复。新年伊始,阿西莉终于在家乡附近找到了一份喜欢的工作,她的生活自此翻开了新的一页。下面的 Life Is Beautiful 是她在感染新冠后的一篇小随笔文章。和 Ashley 之所以比较熟,是因为离得比较近,大约 2~3 公里吧,但分属属于不同的小镇辖区。以前在教堂认识的,她是教堂的义工,我则是教堂的“寄生虫”,我属于被洗脑的那一种,满脑子的无知无畏,充其量不鄙视上帝而已,时不时去教堂也只是因为让小南瓜洗洗脑,找一些玩伴。Ashley 就负责几个相似的毛孩子的看管,例如玩皮球,涂颜色,剪纸等等。
阿西莉和朋友在摩洛哥的 Mednes 城。
阿西莉 @ Ouzoud 瀑布。这个瀑布是非洲十大瀑布之一(据说),离她所在的小城大约一个半小时车程。摩洛哥北部是北阿特拉斯山脉(Atlas Range),南部属于 High Atlas Range, 阿特拉斯山脉虽然以北面沿海的山脉为主体(在突尼斯附近没入地中海,和西西里岛以及意大利/亚平宁半岛很明显属于同一山脉),但 High Atlas Range 却更高大。Ouzoud 瀑布就在 High Atlas Range 的北麓。往南,越过山脉,就是撒哈拉沙漠。
摩洛哥风光
维和部队的义工们 (在欧洲合影,具体哪里我不清楚)
-------------- Life Is Beautiful ----------------
In the bleak and uncertain and the shaky too. I've been listening to this country song (unsurprising I know) this past month since that day I left my life that had just begun taking hold after months of building a foundation in my community in Morocco...and it's just stuck with me because it's how I've felt - messy (look it up if you want by chase rice). Starting from feeling like my heart was being torn from me taking that bus away from home at sunrise looking out the window with so much uncertainty, disbelief. I took a picture and immediatelly felt silly - I wasn't really leaving why take a picture of what I see every day.. and if I was leaving I'd be right back in no more than a couple weeks right?
Flitting between being seemingly totally fine to utterlly broken in another moment. Feeling guilty because so many others have lost immeasurablly more than me throughout the world over this virus - I can't get caught up in the little I've had happen.
Under it all though, I still feel the pain of the goodbyes I didn't get to say. The people I left behind. The suddenness of it all. Being reminded of how little I seemed to know just a month ago.
Trying to move forward but being caught in memories.
You know memories aren't curses that prevent us from moving on - they can be sweet reminders of the people places and pieces of life that have been used to change and shape and sculpt us into who we are becoming. Sometimes life doesn't check to see if we're ready though.
And it's been hard. And that's ok. There's no use pretending it hasn't. No reason to pretend I don't miss before. And if it's been hard for you, I'm here, I will listen.
Let's not be disappointed in other people right now, let's be understanding.
In a note underlying all of this - this year, 2020, since the beginning a theme for me has been realizing over and over how strikingly intentional God is. He doesn't have arw accidents. And I've been noticing that from a new lens yet again as the year has turned to spring.